A Primal Scream

Sometimes I turn off my car headlights
and
just drive

It's not a smart thing to do
but
To feel the road push up against the tires
and
the weight of the car feeling like it might go
airborne
is
explosive, erruptive, engaging
and
energetic

the night combined with fog
makes the ride
stealth like,

Invincible, invulnerable, invisible

and I don't care if it's dangerous
and I don't care if it's stupid

I just care that it makes me feel free
and
I roll down all my windows
and
I scream
to the moon
I scream

a primal scream
from my soul
from the bottom of my gut

and
I feel better

Just for a second.

Just for a brief moment

and then

I turn my lights back on...

and

the pain...
comes back.
To remind me...

of what...

I don't know anymore.

it
just
is

Like me.